This comes after Vol. 6. Don't ask, and I won't tell.

The Half-Pint Brawlers are little people who engage in stunt wrestling before appreciative audiences in metropolitan meccas such as DeKalb, Illinois. But the Chicago Tribune reports today that the Little People of America, an advocacy group for the vertically challenged, is opposed to a scheduled Brawlers event in Chicago. Wrestling shows featuring dwarves are demeaning, says a spokesperson. Nonsense. Don't average-sized people engage in showy wrestling spectacles, and also charicature themselves and their bodies in the process? The Half-Pints are using what they've got to make a buck and have some fun. It's their choice, and the audience's choice to attend, or not. Face it, novelty has always sold. Exhibit One: Mini-Kiss, the dwarf-sized tribute to the famed 70s band.

Almost as salient as grappling dwarves, conservative-loathing performance artist Karen Finley is touring in support of her newly released book, "George and Martha," in which President George W. Bush has an affair with Martha Stewart, and finds Osama bin Laden up his rear, literally. Although Finley's carefully-timed Fall, 2004 stage version of the same story was mercilessly shredded by the New York Times' Christopher Isherwood as limp, unfunny, hackneyed and boring, the Yale student newspaper was terribly excited when Finley came there to read from the book earlier this month, and quotes her saying future works may include her conceptualizations of the dreams of Laura Bush and Condoleezza Rice.

Meanwhile, Condi's cousin Connie Rice - that's right - a progressive activist and genuine dragon slaying public interest lawyer, recently told a lecture audience at the University of California Santa Cruz that they can effect desired change not by slavish devotion to the Democratic Party, but instead through building bi-partisan coalitions.

Sometimes a headline demands a story be read: such as "Naked Man Stuck In Chimney Arrested" or, "Man Grills Dead Mother On Hot Plate." Not to mention "Iowa Deputies Seek Serial Vomit Dumper."

Finally, the head of Oregon's state liquor control commission resigned today, following an arrest for driving under the influence of alcohol.

Glad I could brighten your day.

TECHNORATI TAGS: HALF PINT BRAWLERS, LITTLE PEOPLE OF AMERICA, DEKALB, ILLINOIS, CHICAGO, MINI KISS, KAREN FINLEY, MARTHA AND GEORGE, NEW HAVEN, YALE, NEW YORK TIMES, CONNIE RICE, SANTA CRUZ, DEMOCRATIC PARTY, IOWA VOMIT DUMPER, OREGON, LIQUOR

Posted by Matt Rosenberg at April 27, 2006 05:12 PM