Grillz, grillz, grillz.

As the top Google-ranked commentator on "teeth grillz", I must again speak to my teeming public on the subject. Ornamental jewelry for teeth, also known as teeth grills (street spelling: "teeth grillz") aren't going to stay in vogue much longer. Perhaps that's to be expected when the hit song extolling their virtues (Nelly's "Grillz") goes like this:

ROBB the jewelry store and tell em make me a grill ...I got my mouth lookin somethin like a disco ball; I got da diamonds and da ice all hand set; I might cause a cold front if I take a deep breath; My teeth gleaming like I'm chewin on aluminum foil;..My mouth piece simply symbolize success;...My mouth piece simply certified a total package; Open up my mouth and you see mo karots than a salad.

So get 'cho grillz now and enjoy a few last nanoseconds of reflected glory. That, at least, is the message from high priests of the LemmingStyleSchoolOfCool, in this Philadelphia Inquirer article.

In the weeks leading up to today's NBA All-Star Game in Houston, Alex Khaytin - also known as Alex the Jeweler - has been busy designing not only his trademark neck and wrist ice, but bling for the mouth. The success of "Grillz," the song by Nelly and friends that has hovered at the top of the charts, has prompted more inquiries and orders for "grills," bejeweled gold or platinum caps or "fronts" worn over the front teeth. "It's a trend and people want to have it before it's over," said Khaytin, the proprietor of Golden Fever, who has long provided extravagance to Philly's rap and sports stars...."Since hip-hop is the dominant counterculture at the moment, people want grills because that's what they see on TV," says Branden Peters, lifestyles editor at XXL, the music magazine that covers all things hip-hop. "It's the cool thing to do."

Hip-hop "a dominant subculture?" LOL.

It got sucked into the mainstream maw of consumerist affluenza years ago. Oh for the good old days, when it was actually about the music. The get-it-before-it's-too-late pitch for grillz seems damn strange to me.

If something's going out of style - and more importantly, butt-stupid to begin with, why rush to get it before the cultural expiration date? Take your money for grillz and buy a Sonicare toothbrush instead. There's a lifetime investment, my friends. As I can now attest.

TECHNORATI TAGS: TEETH GRILLZ, TEETH GRILLS, PHILADELPHIA, NELLY, XXL, HIP-HOP, SONICARE

Posted by Matt Rosenberg at February 23, 2006 03:03 PM

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