Cindy Sheehean won't be making it to the Denver area, after all. Too bad. She'd sure get an earful from these moms of young soldiers slain in Iraq. Today's Denver Post has more.

Relatives of Marine Lance Cpl. Chad Maynard, who was killed by a roadside bomb in June, say his tombstone will soon be affixed with a plaque carrying a simple message: "Not in Vain." They have no doubts the 19-year-old's death in Iraq was for a just and important cause, one he believed in deeply: freedom.

They staunchly disagree with Cindy Sheehan, who spent August camped outside President Bush's Texas ranch to protest the war and what she has called "the senseless death" of her son, Army Spec. Casey Sheehan. He died from a bullet to the brain two weeks after he arrived in Iraq in the spring of 2004.

Many...have been deeply disturbed by her message and the attention it is drawing.

In preparation for Sheehan's now-canceled visit to the Western Slope this week, The Denver Post reached out to the parents of the 24 Colorado soldiers killed in Operation Iraqi Freedom. The 12 who responded were nearly unanimous in their opinions of her efforts.

They say her protest is wrong, that she should be quiet and stop "dishonoring" her son and theirs by questioning what they died for. They say her protest is akin to giving ammunition to the enemy.

The struggles and opinions of these other parents and family members haven't been aired daily on CNN or given a spread in People magazine. Their thoughts have been shared mainly over kitchen tables, at the counters of truck stops and in the circles of folding chairs at support groups.

"She's a crazy woman. My son would roll over in his grave if I did what she's doing," said Vicki Bosley of Manzanola.

Her son, Army Staff Sgt. Justin L. Vasquez, 26, died in June while on patrol in Baghdad.

While Sheehan has been spreading the message that her son died in vain in a war started and strung out on lies, Bosley and other parents who won't even entertain that thought have been quietly building living-room shrines to their heroes in what they believe is a just cause.

They have gathered up the military medals, the photographs of proud soldiers in dress blues and combat camouflage, the dog tags - and in one case the new citizenship papers - of their children.

To honor them, they have made T-shirts, started Web logs, created dog tags with Bible verses and flown flags in front lawns. They have continued to work on their dead sons' beloved muscle cars. They have painted their portraits. And they have helped to raise the toddlers and newborns who have the dimples and ears of their dead fathers.

Their quiet grace and dignity stands in sharp contrast to Sheehan's transformation into a celebrity victim, from a grieving mother who had earlier reported satisfaction with President Bush's in-person words to her in 2004, after her son's death in Iraq.

Sheehan is entitled to her change of heart, and her right to free speech. She speaks for herself only, and admittedly reflects the sentiments of some other parents of U.S. war dead in Iraq, badly misguided though they may be in asserting that their children went off to fight, and died, in vain.

Throughout the Sheehan controversy, there was a paucity of reportage on parents such as those portrayed in The Denver Post today. When we attempt to draw meaning from the deaths of our sons and daughters in war, media must take pains to ensure all sides are aired. Then we must sort it all out based on the merits of the arguments, not the status of the (ideological) combatants, as Jonathan Chait oberved in the Los Angeles Times.

Sheehan nonetheless could have used her special status to try articulating a plausible case against the Iraq War - even though that debate is increasingly moot as the difficult but ultimately ground-breaking constitutional process moves forward in Iraq, and the U.S. moves toward gradual withdrawl. Yet Sheehan ultimately succeeded only in losing her composure under the spotlight. Grace under pressure is hard; ask any U.S. soldier in Iraq, or loved one, or present-day Iraqi parliamentarian. I especially admire those who can summon it up.

TECHNORATI TAGS: CINDY SHEEHAN, IRAQ, WAR DEAD

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Posted by Matt Rosenberg at September 12, 2005 02:58 PM