Behold the creamy, toothsome essence of the avocado: one of God's finest creations, although like much else, it is subject to desecration.

I guess I don't get out enough, or have impossibly high expectations of mankind, or both. Perhaps I've actually noticed this before, but have pushed it to the back of my consciousness, because actually contemplating it is so painful. But today in the grocery store, at an aisle-end display, no less, for the first time in my life, I came unmitigatably face to face with the heinous reality of guacamole flavored tortilla chips.

Appalling.

One-handed food is bad enough, but truly: have we, as a nation, and yes, as consumers, become so addicted to ersatz, short-cut foodstuffs that we cannot take a few minutes to pit, scoop and mash some ripe avocados, then mix in some chopped garlic, cream, lemon, salt and pepper, and chill?

Chill. Yes, that's the idea here. If you have to get your avocados in powdered form, you have forgotten how to chill.

And apparently, a lot of us are all het up over chips suffused with powdered avocado.

PepsiCo's Frito-Lay....developed a product based on the popularity of guacamole and decided to promote and advertise its guacamole-flavored chips among Mexicans in the Southwest. But a positive response to the product by the general market prompted the company to expand distribution and advertising beyond the region.

Mexicans? Mexicans in the U.S. are eating guacamole flavored chips? Whoaa! I take back some of what I said about assimilation. There really is a dark side.

Here is my rule of thumb. There are some things which should never, never, never, ever be powdered. Close to the top of the list are avocados.

Posted by Matt Rosenberg at June 30, 2005 05:05 PM

---

---