Look, I agree yoga is cool, OK? Call me a Yoga Repubican. I can twist my body, meditate, chew anise seeds, and deep breathe with the best of 'em. But Russell Simmons is off his frickin' nut. The famed hip-hop mogul was just in Seattle flogging his lines of sneakers, clothing, music, TV content, energy soda, financial planning, and uh, yoga. Simmons tells the Seattle Times:

If only yogis were the only people in America who could vote...this country would be so compassionate and so giving and so loved...

And so under the seige of terrorists. If only yogis voted they would vote for candidates who embodied the values articulated in the Bhagavad Gita's Chapter Six, as translated by Sir Edwin Arnold.

He is the Yogi....dwelling apart upon a peak...being of equal grace to comrades, friends, chance-comers, strangers, lovers, enemies, aliens and kinsmen; loving all alike, evil or good.

In other words, Simmons' ideal voter is an isolated moral relativist Democrat who's soft on "enemies," "aliens" and "evil." And the King County Elections Department.

Funny thing is, last fall, Simmons co-sponsored the "Vote Or Die" campaign, trying to get urban Dems, especially younger blacks, to the polls. Didn't help all that much, tho - plus hip-hoppers and Lefty organizers had real differences.

Perhaps Russ has gotten a little wiser since November's disaster for Ds in the federal elections. If you can't build the base enough to win the White House and Congress, why then, how about we take the vote away from everybody but a privileged few, like yogis - chosen for their special outlook on things. Yeah, real interesting to hear that coming from a black man. Even as stream-of consciousness bullshit.

Posted by Matt Rosenberg at May 6, 2005 06:46 PM