Cliches are a clear and present danger. Everybody's up in arms. The British fear their pols are on auto-pilot phrase-wise, as BBC reports. Top-offending turns of phrase include:

Black hole - Sounds scary doesn't it? Imagine having one in your public finances...

...Doorstep, the - A quasi mythical land where subjects mysteriously "come up" - unless they are subjects that might cause embarrassment to your party ("Well it's not coming up on the doorstep, Jeremy...").

Hard-working families - Probably the most over-used phrase of the 2005 election. It's the lazy families we feel sorry for...

Investment - Formerly known as "public spending", this is now "pouring in".

...Metropolitan elite - This group has gradually replaced the "chattering classes" as hate figures of politicians who wish to strike a populist note.

...Top down - The biggest sin in modern politics is to have a policy that is "top down" - power must be seen to be in local people's hands.

Timing - As in "you have to question the timing of this announcement".

The business world is where cliches breed like rabbits. St. Petersburg Times business columnist Robert Trigaux tells it like it is:

At the end of the day, there is nothing like a classic business cliche....To be perfectly candid, business cliches are a robust, user-friendly and value-added solution for associates that can take corporate communications to the next level of thinking outside the box.

This guy's got his mojo workin,' alright.

Trigaux surveyed executives for some least favorite business cliches. Among those cited: "out of the box thinking," "user friendly," "value added," "branding," "boom, boom, boom," "team," "multitasking," "taking it to the next level," and - this gets my vote for worst of the worst - "Solutions." As in, all of a sudden, your lawn and shrub guy's truck reads, "Integrated Landscape Design Solutions."

In the marketplace of ideas, re-packaging cliches is a way to demonstrate originality. After all, it's not the steak, it's the sizzle. Here's your one-stop shop for cliches, the ClicheSite.com. And a real contender: The Sports Cliche List. Naturally, somebody had to catalog Film Sound Cliches.

Not to mention movie cliches.

The section on women is LOL. A few examples:

Women will always have shaved legs and armpits, even in caveman movies. Women will be worrying about their nails or dresses while people are trying to kill them. Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain with handy object. Counterpoint: If woman does clonk, she always hits hero instead. Women always fight other movie women by pulling hair, falling to ground together, rolling over twice. High-powered female executives always wear miniskirts and five-inch heels to work.

Beautiful women will always fawn over an action hero, no matter what sexist remarks he makes to them. A female lead with feminist leanings will always despise a macho hero--until the first time he rescues her from certain death. She will then become totally conventional and dependent. Once she does this, the hero will become vulnerable and tell her about some tragic loss that will explain his belligerent attitude. Women wear make-up to bed, and wake up with hair and face completely intact....If a woman is pregnant, she will deliver before the movie ends....Women always stuff their fist(s) in their mouths when terrified. Women always have to be rescued by the hero, even if they're champion/expert this or that.

Sound familiar?

What are your most despised cliches - in business, politics, sports or entertainment? What's about to become a cliche, but isn't quite yet? What cliches have I used at Rosenblog that irritate the living bejeezus out of you?

I'm all ears.

Posted by Matt Rosenberg at May 2, 2005 05:22 PM

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